Approach
02Feb

Come on now. Tell the truth. It's just us. Why are you living your own version of Groundhog Day? Maybe it’s that one friend who continues to suck the life out of you and you keep going back for more. Perhaps it's the boss from hell who you are hoping will magically have a personality transplant. How about that series of extreme diets that have you going up and down like a yo-yo? Or that broken commitment to get off email at least one night a week after dinner. What about that decent night’s sleep you keep promising yourself? Or “date night” with your spouse? How many more little league games are you going to miss? Here’s a 5-point plan you can start right now to love your life again. 1. Remember, you always have a choice   Read More→

So, here we are, February 1st. Just a short month ago you promised to make this year your very best. We hope you are on track! We know how easy it is to get derailed. Don't let that happen to you. Beware the following... 1) Believing in Work-Life Balance Stop looking for work-life balance. It doesn’t exist. You have one life. Work is a component of that life. How will you determine how you will spend the valuable currency of your one and only life? 2) Being hijacked by social media Warning! If you find yourself engaging in never-ending threads of online point/counterpoint or spending more time reporting on your life than experiencing it, you are in danger of unintentionally sabotaging your well-being. How will you break that habit when   Read More→

30Nov

What is Adversity?

by Paul Sherman

This morning I was a in meeting and the topic was adversity. We were invited to think about what this word means to us and how it has shaped who we are. Let me start with a big disclaimer that what I'm about to say is true for me. Many reading this surely hold alternative perspectives (as did the people I was with this morning). The reason I choose to share this topic with you is that I found it an amazing gift for Reaching In. In other words, merely sitting with this question at 7am this morning has provided me a sense of empowerment and resilience that I hope to hold onto for the rest of the day (and beyond). When thinking about adversity the place that I immediately went to is that adversity is in the eye of the beholder. For me there is "real adversity" and "manufactur  Read More→

17Nov

A Symbol of Safety

by Paul Sherman

I've never been one to wear a ribbon to highlight a cause. Not that I think there is anything the matter with it, just has never been my thing. This week I found myself called to attach a safety pin to my jersey. For those who don't know, a safety pin has become a symbol of letting those around you know that you are there to support them, that they are literally "safe." Some Americans have recently borrowed this tradition from the UK, who, after Brexit, adopted it as a way to reduce fear among foreigners and reassure them that they had allies. I chose to wear the pin not because I felt personally unsafe (lucky me, white middle-aged guy), but because so many around me were feeling that way. Were these "rational fears?" That's not the point. The fears are real to them. So, rather tha  Read More→

14Nov

Election Reflections

by Paul Sherman

As our country digests the election results, many are experiencing a palpable sense of dread, horror, disbelief and a litany of other emotions that epitomize stress and even suffering. For people having this stressful reaction, reality is that their core beliefs and values are under attack. Who wouldn't feel this way under these circumstances? This a modern manifestation of the classic fight or flight response complete with the neurochemicals of cortisol and adrenaline. People see an imagined sabertoothed tiger in front of them and they are about to be eaten! Enter rage, terror, aggression and doom. And, yes, for many this election result is a real sabertoothed tiger. They see dire consequences ahead. It's real and it's scary. Something needs to be done. However, unlike our caveman  Read More→

03Jun

My Failure of Mindset

by Paul Sherman

I aspire to consistently practice the What Matters?! mindsets of curiosity, humor, self-honesty, gratitude, and kindness. Not because I want to be perceived as up there with Mother Teresa or the Dalai Lama (though that would be nice), but because I just plain feel a greater sense of well-being when I do. What’s more, the research of Dr. Martin Seligman, Dr. David R. Hamilton, Dr. Robert Emmons and a host of other behavioral scientists reports a similar set of positive effects for anyone who adopts these ways of being in the world. So, in a perverse way, it’s actually selfish to express gratitude, kindness and the other What Matters?! mindsets. Selfish because we feel better when we do. And, oh, by the way, a fortunate byproduct of acting in these ways brings a littl  Read More→

14Aug

Robin Williams' Death

by Paul Sherman

When David and I developed the What Matters?! model (http://askwhatmatters.com/approach), we did so with the intention of eradicating needless suffering in the world. As I contemplate Robin Williams' death, I feel called upon to scream to the world the What Matters?! practice that we call “Reach Out." (http://askwhatmatters.com/approach) It could literally save your life. Perhaps Mr. Williams would still be with us today had he been able to force himself to verbalize to another the dark place in which he found himself. For many of us, it is at our most stressed, lonely and desperate times that we tend to pull inward. We become turtles hiding from the world. We pull the covers over our head and hit the snooze button another time. We ignore the ringing phone even tho  Read More→