Approach
02Feb

Come on now. Tell the truth. It's just us. Why are you living your own version of Groundhog Day? Maybe it’s that one friend who continues to suck the life out of you and you keep going back for more. Perhaps it's the boss from hell who you are hoping will magically have a personality transplant. How about that series of extreme diets that have you going up and down like a yo-yo? Or that broken commitment to get off email at least one night a week after dinner. What about that decent night’s sleep you keep promising yourself? Or “date night” with your spouse? How many more little league games are you going to miss? Here’s a 5-point plan you can start right now to love your life again. 1. Remember, you always have a choice   Read More→

So, here we are, February 1st. Just a short month ago you promised to make this year your very best. We hope you are on track! We know how easy it is to get derailed. Don't let that happen to you. Beware the following... 1) Believing in Work-Life Balance Stop looking for work-life balance. It doesn’t exist. You have one life. Work is a component of that life. How will you determine how you will spend the valuable currency of your one and only life? 2) Being hijacked by social media Warning! If you find yourself engaging in never-ending threads of online point/counterpoint or spending more time reporting on your life than experiencing it, you are in danger of unintentionally sabotaging your well-being. How will you break that habit when   Read More→

30Nov

What is Adversity?

by Paul Sherman

This morning I was a in meeting and the topic was adversity. We were invited to think about what this word means to us and how it has shaped who we are. Let me start with a big disclaimer that what I'm about to say is true for me. Many reading this surely hold alternative perspectives (as did the people I was with this morning). The reason I choose to share this topic with you is that I found it an amazing gift for Reaching In. In other words, merely sitting with this question at 7am this morning has provided me a sense of empowerment and resilience that I hope to hold onto for the rest of the day (and beyond). When thinking about adversity the place that I immediately went to is that adversity is in the eye of the beholder. For me there is "real adversity" and "manufactur  Read More→

17Nov

A Symbol of Safety

by Paul Sherman

I've never been one to wear a ribbon to highlight a cause. Not that I think there is anything the matter with it, just has never been my thing. This week I found myself called to attach a safety pin to my jersey. For those who don't know, a safety pin has become a symbol of letting those around you know that you are there to support them, that they are literally "safe." Some Americans have recently borrowed this tradition from the UK, who, after Brexit, adopted it as a way to reduce fear among foreigners and reassure them that they had allies. I chose to wear the pin not because I felt personally unsafe (lucky me, white middle-aged guy), but because so many around me were feeling that way. Were these "rational fears?" That's not the point. The fears are real to them. So, rather tha  Read More→

04Jul

Thanks Grandma and Grandpa

by Paul Sherman

Today is the 4th of July. As I awoke this morning my thoughts went to my grandparents who came to America with nothing but the clothes on their backs in order to make a better life for their children. What incredible bravery and devotion to family. They knew What Mattered?! to them and dared to take action to live accordingly. While the USA is far from perfect, on this 4th of July I'm grateful for the risk that my grandparents took to come to America so that I could have the freedom and opportunities available to me. In the whirlwind of life in the modern age I often take my life situation (a.k.a., circumstances) for granted. Thanks to my elders I grew up well nourished, well educated and well loved. They taught me not only how to survive, but to thrive in this complex world.   Read More→

15Jun

Imperfect Action

by David Garten

The other day I came across this quote on a friend's FaceBook page that is attributed to Jon Sinclair: “failure is a bruise, not a tattoo.” It totally resonated with me and got me wondering about how much of what holds us back from trying things is the fear of failing? I’m sure I could write a book about the power of fear (oops, already been done) and how it can cripple people. My question is this: who are we afraid of seeing us fail? Other people? Ourselves? By the way, I don't have an answer to this question (remember our website is a question "ask what matters ?"). Is the fear of public embarrassment greater than internalized shame? Damn, where DID I put Brene Brown’s cell number? She’s great and I’m sure she could help me with this qu  Read More→

03Jun

My Failure of Mindset

by Paul Sherman

I aspire to consistently practice the What Matters?! mindsets of curiosity, humor, self-honesty, gratitude, and kindness. Not because I want to be perceived as up there with Mother Teresa or the Dalai Lama (though that would be nice), but because I just plain feel a greater sense of well-being when I do. What’s more, the research of Dr. Martin Seligman, Dr. David R. Hamilton, Dr. Robert Emmons and a host of other behavioral scientists reports a similar set of positive effects for anyone who adopts these ways of being in the world. So, in a perverse way, it’s actually selfish to express gratitude, kindness and the other What Matters?! mindsets. Selfish because we feel better when we do. And, oh, by the way, a fortunate byproduct of acting in these ways brings a littl  Read More→

23May

The Courage to Choose

by Paul Sherman

This morning in my daily “reach in” (a practice in the What Matters?! Framework (http://askwhatmatters.com/approach)), I came across the following quotation from author, John Irving: “If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.” Having been fortunate enough in the past year to find a way of life that I truly love, I felt compelled to share Irving's wisdom in hopes of encouraging people who may not be loving their lives to open themselves up to all possible lifestyle choices. If your life isn't working for you, you owe it to yourself to explore alternative ways of living. Only by taking action to try something new will you create the conditions to even have the possibility of being “lucky enough to   Read More→

14Aug

Robin Williams' Death

by Paul Sherman

When David and I developed the What Matters?! model (http://askwhatmatters.com/approach), we did so with the intention of eradicating needless suffering in the world. As I contemplate Robin Williams' death, I feel called upon to scream to the world the What Matters?! practice that we call “Reach Out." (http://askwhatmatters.com/approach) It could literally save your life. Perhaps Mr. Williams would still be with us today had he been able to force himself to verbalize to another the dark place in which he found himself. For many of us, it is at our most stressed, lonely and desperate times that we tend to pull inward. We become turtles hiding from the world. We pull the covers over our head and hit the snooze button another time. We ignore the ringing phone even tho  Read More→